“The 19th” (2020)

“19th” (2020)

Yarn, hessian, embroidery circle.

28.5 inches x 7.5 inches.

The 19th.

It’s a number,

it’s an amendment,

it’s a day.

The day I can’t forget.

I thought I knew better,

but I didn’t.

I should have known better,

but I didn’t.

Or should I have known?

I didn’t know, even after

I began to bleed.

– Madeleine Washbrook

Starting as an experimentation with chaotic composition, I wanted to create a piece representing the feeling of “splitting at the seams.” While my work tends to address political issues from waste to climate change, my own mental health influences my work also. I’ve lost count on the amount of times I’ve felt like I’m splitting at the seams. I think portraying my childhood in a rug would just be a jumble of knotted yarn disconnected from the hessian, to be quite frank.

The 19th is a tale of sexual assault, and not realising it.

It’s a tale of robbery, with no justice.

Pain with no bandaid.

A bandaid soaked in blood and tears and blood.

This is a tale of splitting at the seams as that day began with friends and new beginnings, ending with something I can’t forget. I didn’t even know straight away, I convinced myself that it was normal, free and frivolous. Until my emotions and overthinking came flooding in and in and in and wouldn’t stop until I drowned. The house in my head is flooded, rotting and warped.

How can it be?

How can it be?

How can it be?

It can. Unfortunately.

It wasn’t a match, it was a death sentence.